Today during worship we sang "Good Good Father" and like most Sundays I cried. Growing up, I never cried and after I had kids, I cry at everything - commercials, football - I cry. Typically on Sundays my husband or my sons lean around and stare at my face and ask, "Are you crying?! What's wrong?" Nothing is WRONG. I just cry. Nothing is necessarily sad even. I just cry.
This Sunday though I was sitting next to my son, who of course asked the typical, " Are you REALLY crying?" and on the other side was Mr. Williams. Mr. Williams has two kids. I work with one at Tech. I'm sure he had no clue that I cry every week or that touching me and showing compassion when I cry drives me nuts (I know, weird. Who does that).
He was so kind and when we prayed, he put his hand on my back. I was thinking about my dad, who passed away this year. Here was this dad with two daughters, just like my dad, comforting me. I thought about God who was there to comfort me when my dad left. I was only 8 years old. Here He was again, sending me a father figure to comfort me... even one without a clue what was going on in my head. I thought about how I miss my dad terribly. I thought about my expectations of my dad and how no one could have lived up to what I expected. I was crazy about my dad. I wanted so much from him. I tried to will him to change.
Not until I was married with kids and after my dad had two open heart surgeries, that THE Father changed him. It was a swift and dramatic change. Frankly, the change was hard for me to take. I'd wanted him to love Jesus and live for Him for so long that when it happened and he started studying and praying and ... it was difficult. Waiting all those years for the man I wanted him to be, he became the man God wanted him to be so very abruptly. Good good father.... It's who you are.
This Sunday though I was sitting next to my son, who of course asked the typical, " Are you REALLY crying?" and on the other side was Mr. Williams. Mr. Williams has two kids. I work with one at Tech. I'm sure he had no clue that I cry every week or that touching me and showing compassion when I cry drives me nuts (I know, weird. Who does that).
He was so kind and when we prayed, he put his hand on my back. I was thinking about my dad, who passed away this year. Here was this dad with two daughters, just like my dad, comforting me. I thought about God who was there to comfort me when my dad left. I was only 8 years old. Here He was again, sending me a father figure to comfort me... even one without a clue what was going on in my head. I thought about how I miss my dad terribly. I thought about my expectations of my dad and how no one could have lived up to what I expected. I was crazy about my dad. I wanted so much from him. I tried to will him to change.
Not until I was married with kids and after my dad had two open heart surgeries, that THE Father changed him. It was a swift and dramatic change. Frankly, the change was hard for me to take. I'd wanted him to love Jesus and live for Him for so long that when it happened and he started studying and praying and ... it was difficult. Waiting all those years for the man I wanted him to be, he became the man God wanted him to be so very abruptly. Good good father.... It's who you are.
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