When I was pregnant with Clayton I read a book that encourage parents to allow others to give their kids nicknames. They said more names, more love. Those nicknames represented connections and relationships that will enhance your child's life experiences. 

Friends, coaches, and others have given Clay some names - Mr. Chisum, C-note, Clay Dogg, and others...

When others show favor to your kids, it gets your attention. It makes you proud.

Clay got his first graduation gift. It was from neighbors we had not even sent an announcement to. They just loved my kid.

I appreciated that so much. I was overwhelmed. It hit me big.

Our first and last band concert for #4. We heard the same beginning band songs we've heard for a few years with other kids in band. We laughed and reminisced about concerts in years past and enjoyed the last one with the last one.

Weathermen talked about the possibility of severe weather all day long. There was a tense feeling in the air, but nothing happened all day. We finished up the concert for 6th grade, cleared out of the auditorium to make room for the 7th grade parents, and went home to cook dinner. Then the sirens started blaring.
​
We went to the cellar and waited. It didn't take long until we were in the clear, but the images from the storm were unbelievable. 

These days it's a given that at some point our children will have a cell phone. Just like the gift of a bicycle, there are some basic rules and responsibilities of cell phone.

When our oldest child recieved his first cell phone, which he was probably too young to have, we looked in quite a few places (There is a great list here) to creating a cell phone contract to teach him about the responsibilities that come with having a cell phone, as well as the consequences for not seeing those responsibilities through. We went through the contract, asked and answered questions, and have since edited and revised the original contract based on usage and trends.


Cell Phone: Tween Responsibilities

• I will not send threatening or mean texts to others

• I will not text or place phone calls after 9 p.m.

• I will keep my phone charged at all times

• I will not bring my cell phone to the family dinner table

• I will not go over our plan's monthly minutes, text message, or data limits. If I do, I understand that I may be responsible for paying any additional charges or that I may lose my cell phone privileges
• I understand that I am responsible for knowing where my phone is, and for keeping it in good condition
• I understand that my cell phone may be taken away if I talk back to my parents, I fail to do my chores, or I fail to keep my grades up
• I will obey rules of etiquette regarding cell phones in public places. I will make sure my phone is turned off when I am in church, in restaurants, or quiet settings
• I will obey any rules my school has regarding cell phones, such as turning them off during class, or keeping them on vibrate while riding the school bus
• I promise I will alert my parents when I receive suspicious or alarming phone calls or text messages from people I don't know
• I will also alert my parents if I am being harassed by someone via my cell phone
• I will not use my cell phone to bully another
• I will send no more than _____ texts per day via text, messenger, etc.
• I understand that having a cell phone can be helpful in an emergency, but I know that I must still practice good judgment and make good choices that will keep me out of trouble or out of danger
• I will not send embarrassing photos of my family or friends to others. In addition, I will not use my phone's camera to take embarrassing photos of others
• I understand that having a cell phone is a privilege, and that if I fail to adhere to this contract, my cell phone privilege may be revoked
• If needed, I may help pay for the cost of the phone and/or for excess charges that I incur without permission from my parents

Cell Phone Contract: Parent Responsibilities

• I understand that I will make myself available to answer any questions about owning a cell phone and using it responsibly
• I will support my child when he or she alerts me to an alarming message or text message that he or she has received
• I will alert my child if our cell phone plan changes and impacts the plan's minutes
• I will give my child _______ warning(s) before I take his or her cell phone away
• Signed ______________________________ (Child)
  Signed ______________________________ (Parents)
  Date ______________________________

Today was a wonderful day full of fun and well wishes. It wasn't anything special. We didn't go on a trip or plan an adventure. It was an ordinary day, but the people around me made it extraordinary. 

In our family, we do birthdays big. I hope there are many days where our children feel celebrated, but there will be at least one day where they know it's all about them. On your birthday, the celebration starts as soon as you open your eyes. A song and a big breakfast start the day and the rest if filled with all of your favorite things.

Today was my day and it was perfect. 

I hope the people around me feel as celebrated as I did today. Everyone needs a champion, someone in their corner. Someone you can count on to be cheering when you back. Someone who never gives up and always expects your very best. 

Even if it's just one day a year, hearing people affirm you is a blessing. But everyday is filled with blessings, reasons to celebrate - if we just look. Today counting my blessings was easy.

The phone rang about 2pm. I was at work. The caller ID said the call was from our small town clinic. For the life of me I couldn't think of why the clinic would be calling. I answered, expecting it to be the office manager and something about insurance on the other end.

It was the doctor. He said his name and then, as if I didn't know who he was automatically, he started explaining who he was. I was stunned and my mind started racing. "Why is he calling?" Do I have something horrible? Trying to anticipate what he would say next, I went a little berserk.

He said the call wouldn't take long. He said he'd written himself a note as a reminder to call.

WHAT ON EARTH!? 

He says that he knows it takes a village to raise a child and he hopes if I found his children doing something good or bad that I would call him.

Now I'm thinking someone is going to die and I continued to listen to find out which one and why.

He said that he had not gotten to spend much time with our oldest outside of the clinic.

And that's the one who's done for. I get it now. How long is just unreasonable to be grounded? That's how long it will be before this kid sees daylight!

Then he said that we must be doing something right. That he really enjoyed spending time with him the night before. His oldest is the same age and a whole bunch of kids were at their house the night before. He said our child was polite and respectful and really fun to be around. Our child even stayed back when other kids went outside to help clean up.

I almost wanted to text him a photo of the child to make sure that we were talking about the same kid.

As he spoke, I felt that lump in my throat coming on. The one where you know it's going to be an ugly cry if you don't hold it together. I couldn't say too much for fear of shaking shoulder and snot.

I was overwhelmed that the doctor would take time to stop his day, his busy clinic, to call me to brag on my child. After I hung up I just sat there in my chair in my office in stunned silence. Thinking about what just happened. I waited quite a while before I told anyone about the call.

What if we all made calls. Parenting is tough. Far too often we keep things to ourselves. We don't speak up. We hesitate to call. We get bust and forget.  I'm going to make a point to call someone, to brag on someone's child, to let some other parent know that I see them. I appreciate their efforts. 

 

Our children tell us at times (like during the cleaning madness before company comes over) that they know we only had kids to make them do ALL the work. There are 4 of them so it does feel like I'm asking someone to do something all the time. However, the kids are all getting old enough to know what needs to be taken care of and with 6 of us it seems there is always some thing that needs to be done.

To save my sanity and monetize some of the chores, I created a chore chart. There are some chores spelled out on the chart that you do just because you live here and there are some that are shared responsibilities that can go toward earning an allowance. 

PDF of the chart

We looked at many different kinds of charts, and even tried out a chore wheel for awhile. With the age range of our kids, it was important to assign different chores to different children based on ability. Skill set and drive were honestly factors as well. One of our kids is much more ok with doing some of the grosser jobs; one of them is the mess maker in an area of the house. The division on paper looks quite equitable and has been updated many times to account for sports practice and lesson schedules -  and for sanity.

I like our chart and I think that it gives the children some ownership and some spending money too!

It has long been one of my life goals to visit all 50 states. My grandparents did it. They drove in a Volkswagen Van in the 90's and finished up their list. They made their trek before cell phones and GPS and online reservations - they were both in their 70's at the time to boot!

Two years ago I was presenting at a conference and we took the family and drove from Texas to Boston, Mass and it was amazing. It was a rock star trip, different hotel every night kind of trip. Our children were able to see and do so much; it would have taken years to do it any other way.

What Counts?
There is an All 50 Club to recognize those who have visited all 50 states. A great debate has been, "What Counts?" and there are some who want to run marathons in all 50. There are some who say airports don't count some think that you have to stay the night in a state for it to count.

I love the idea of seeing all of America.

Fun Links to Explore
Interactive Map to track how many you've visited
Connect with Explore All 50. They even have a newsletter and are on social media.
You can take the All 50 Challenge on List Challenge

I bought the Let's Go See All 50!, Visiting the 50 States Journal to help me keep track of what we have left. It's so easy to fill out and even has a page to color in all the states you've been in. 

​We have some big plans for this year and we need to be intentional and on the same page as a couple if we are going to accomplish these. To help make it possible, we are budget planning. One thing that we have found that really helps us is naming every dollar so that they all have a purpose. Dave Ramsey has a simple to follow cash flow plan that we mimic. 

It helps us to make an Excel document so that we can see our money and where it's going, where we can cut back or alter our choices. I also found a Dave Ramsey budget template for us to modify and share on Google Docs. (Google Doc is a cloud based file sharing platform that allows us to work together on the budget from our laptops, phones, etc.)   There are quite a few lines on the spreadsheet so we can list every expense imaginable. It keeps us forgetting something. We modified the template quite a bit to just use the lines and categories that are relevant for us.

Happy Budgeting! - Mom

Today during worship we sang "Good Good Father" and like most Sundays I cried. Growing up, I never cried and after I had kids, I cry at everything - commercials, football - I cry. Typically on Sundays my husband or my sons lean around and stare at my face and ask, "Are you crying?! What's wrong?" Nothing is WRONG. I just cry. Nothing is necessarily sad even. I just cry.

This Sunday though I was sitting next to my son, who of course asked the typical, " Are you REALLY crying?" and on the other side was Mr. Williams. Mr. Williams has two kids. I work with one at Tech. I'm sure he had no clue that I cry every week or that touching me and showing compassion when I cry drives me nuts (I know, weird. Who does that). 

He was so kind and when we prayed, he put his hand on my back. I was thinking about my dad, who passed away this year. Here was this dad with two daughters, just like my dad, comforting me. I thought about God who was there to comfort me when my dad left. I was only 8 years old. Here He was again, sending me a father figure to comfort me... even one without a clue what was going on in my head. I thought about how I miss my dad terribly. I thought about my expectations of my dad and how no one could have lived up to what I expected. I was crazy about my dad. I wanted so much from him. I tried to will him to change.

Not until I was married with kids and after my dad had two open heart surgeries, that THE Father changed him. It was a swift and dramatic change. Frankly, the change was hard for me to take. I'd wanted him to love Jesus and live for Him for so long that when it happened and he started studying and praying and ... it was difficult. Waiting all those years for the man I wanted him to be, he became the man God wanted him to be so very abruptly. Good good father.... It's who you are.