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The Secret to Success? Look at Your Friends

1/6/2025

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We all know that saying, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” Well, I take it one step further when I tell my kids: “If four of your friends are millionaires, guess who the fifth one is likely to be? Choose your friends wisely.”
This isn’t just about wealth—it’s about surrounding yourself with compounders. These are the rare, incredible people who invest in their knowledge, health, wealth, and relationships over decades. They don’t just live life; they build it, brick by brick, with intention and focus. And if you’re lucky enough to have a few of these people in your circle, hold on tight—because they’ll change your life.

What Makes a Compounder So Special?
  1. They’re Committed to Growth.
    Compounders are always learning. Whether it’s reading, asking better questions, or seeking out new challenges, they have a relentless drive to improve. Conversations with them aren’t small talk; they’re big ideas and meaningful insights.
  2. They Level You Up.
    Let’s face it: compounders are inspiring. When you see them crushing their goals, it’s hard not to want to step up your game. They set a high bar, and you can’t help but rise to meet it.
  3. They’re Playing the Long Game.
    These aren’t the friends who chase the next shiny thing or quick win. They’re in it for the marathon, not the sprint. Their success builds slowly but surely, and they remind you that the best things in life take time.
  4. They’re Masters of Balance.
    Compounders aren’t just about work or money. They’re also deeply invested in relationships, health, and personal growth. They show you what it looks like to live a life that’s truly full and rewarding.

Why Your Inner Circle MattersI always tell my kids to think about their five closest friends. Those are the people who influence your habits, your mindset, and even your future. If your circle is full of compounders, you’ll naturally pick up their habits—like setting goals, sticking to routines, and thinking long-term. On the flip side, if your circle is dragging you down? Well, you already know how that story ends.

How to Spot a Compounder
  • They’re curious. Always learning, always asking better questions.
  • They’re consistent. Showing up for their goals every single day.
  • They’re generous. Sharing their knowledge, cheering you on, and rooting for your success.
  • They’re forward-thinking. Making choices today that will pay off decades from now.

Tips for Building a Circle of Compounders
  1. Be One Yourself.
    To attract compounders, you need to be one. Focus on your own growth, invest in your future, and make it clear that you’re serious about leveling up.
  2. Seek Out High-Quality Conversations.
    Compounders love talking about ideas, not just people or events. Find those conversations, and bring something valuable to the table.
  3. Get Comfortable with Challenges.
    Compounders will push you out of your comfort zone. Lean into it—that’s where the magic happens.
  4. Don’t Be Afraid to Let Go.
    If certain friendships are holding you back, it’s okay to move on. You can still love those people while making room for others who inspire you to grow.


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​A Note to My Kids (and Maybe Yours)You don’t have to be perfect, and neither do your friends. But the people you choose to spend your time with will shape your life in ways you can’t imagine. Surround yourself with friends who make you think bigger, dream bigger, and do bigger.
And remember, compounders are rare. But when you find one? They’re worth their weight in gold—or, better yet, compounding interest. 😉
So, choose wisely. Build that circle. And when you’re the fifth millionaire, I’ll be here saying, “I told you so!”
​
#ChooseWisely #CompoundYourLife #LevelUp
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Cheering, Not Steering: How to Support Your Kid’s Love Life

12/18/2024

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As a mom, I’ve had my share of those "Oh, so we’re dating now?" moments. It’s a wild ride watching your kids navigate relationships for the first time. And while the instinct to grab a clipboard and start interviewing candidates might be strong, I’ve learned (sometimes the hard way) that my role isn’t to hire the perfect partner for my child—it’s to welcome the one they choose.
This doesn’t mean I don’t have thoughts (trust me, I do), but being part of the welcoming committee instead of the hiring committee shifts the focus from control to support. Here are a few tips I’ve picked up on how to be an ally to your kids as they dive into the world of dating:

1. Be Curious, Not CriticalInstead of leading with judgment, lead with curiosity. Ask open-ended questions like, “What do you like most about them?” or “What’s something they’ve taught you?” This lets your child feel safe sharing without fearing a critique of their choice.

2. Model Respectful RelationshipsKids watch how we handle our relationships. Show them what healthy communication, mutual respect, and kindness look like. If you’ve had your share of missteps (who hasn’t?), share those lessons too.

3. Pray for Their Hearts—and Theirs to ComeNo matter how old your kids are, it’s never too early (or too late) to pray for them and their future partners. Ask for guidance in shaping your child’s heart to love and respect others well, and pray for the character and values of the person they might one day share their life with. These prayers don’t just prepare your kids for relationships—they remind you to trust the process and let go of what you can’t control.

4. Set Boundaries, Not BarriersYes, house rules are important—like curfews and respectful behavior—but they shouldn’t feel like brick walls. Encourage open communication about their relationship, and trust that the values you’ve taught them will guide their decisions.

5. Don’t Make It About YouRemember, this isn’t your relationship. You might not always understand their choices, but it’s their journey to figure out. Support them as they learn and grow, even if that means letting them make mistakes.

6. Be a Safe SpaceDating can be full of highs and lows. Make sure your kids know they can come to you—whether they need advice, a shoulder to cry on, or just someone to celebrate with. Being an ally means being there, no matter what.

7. Share What Love Is (and Isn’t)Talk openly about what healthy relationships look like—and what red flags to watch for. Teach them that love should never feel controlling, belittling, or unsafe.

8. Resist the Urge to Say “I Told You So”Let’s be real: sometimes you’ll see a breakup coming long before they do. But when it happens, resist the temptation to gloat or lecture. Instead, be empathetic and supportive as they heal.

9. Cheer for Their Happiness, Not Their PartnerIt’s easy to get attached to your child’s partner, especially if they’re a good match. But remember, your loyalty is to your child. Celebrate their happiness, even if it means saying goodbye to someone you liked.

10. Be Ready to WelcomeUltimately, your job isn’t to approve or disapprove—it’s to welcome. Whether their relationship is a learning experience or a lifelong match, being kind and supportive shows your child you’re in their corner.

When it comes to your kids dating, remember: you’re not the one choosing the partner—they are. Your role is to be a guide, a cheerleader, and a trusted ally. And who knows? You might learn a thing or two about love along the way.
And if all else fails? Just pray. Pray for wisdom, patience, and a heart full of love—not just for your child, but for the person they’ll one day call their partner.
#ParentingTips #DatingAndParenting #WelcomeNotHiring
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Verses to Share with Your Kids

  1. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
    “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
    Encourage them to seek and show love rooted in these qualities.
  2. Proverbs 4:23
    “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
    Remind them to be mindful of their emotions and protect their hearts wisely.
  3. Ephesians 4:2-3
    “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”
    Encourage patience, humility, and gentleness in their relationships.
  4. Colossians 3:14
    “And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.”
    Help them understand that love is the foundation of a strong relationship.
  5. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
    “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”
    Remind them of the value of partnership and mutual support.

Prayers to Offer for Your Kids and Their Relationships
  1. Prayer for Wisdom and Discernment
    “Lord, I pray that my child will seek Your guidance in their relationships. Help them to recognize what is good, true, and healthy, and to have the wisdom to walk away from what is not. May they be discerning and grounded in Your truth. Amen.”
  2. Prayer for Protection
    “Heavenly Father, please protect my child’s heart and mind as they navigate relationships. Guard them from harm, hurt, and anything that may draw them away from You. Surround them with people who bring out the best in them. Amen.”
  3. Prayer for a Loving Partner
    “God, I pray for the person my child will one day share their life with. May they grow in kindness, faith, and love. Prepare both their hearts for a relationship that reflects Your grace, patience, and commitment. Amen.”
  4. Prayer for Communication
    “Lord, help my child communicate with love and respect in their relationships. Teach them to listen, speak truth, and resolve conflicts with grace. Let their words build up rather than tear down. Amen.”
  5. Prayer for Growth Through Relationships
    “Father, I pray that my child learns and grows through their relationships. Whether things go smoothly or challenges arise, let them find lessons, strength, and a deeper connection to You. Amen.”
  6. Prayer for Peace and Patience
    “Dear God, fill my child with peace and patience as they navigate relationships. Help them to lean on You during uncertainty or difficult moments and to trust Your timing and plan. Amen.”
  7. Prayer for Boundaries and Respect
    “Lord, help my child establish healthy boundaries in their relationships. Teach them to respect others and to expect respect in return. Let them value themselves as Your precious creation. Amen.”
  8. Prayer for Gratitude and Joy
    “Father, I pray that my child experiences joy and gratitude in their relationships. Help them to appreciate the blessings of connection and companionship, and to always give thanks for the love You bring into their life. Amen.”
  9. Prayer for Forgiveness
    “God, teach my child the power of forgiveness. When mistakes happen or hurt arises, help them to forgive as You forgive us. May they find healing and renewal in Your grace. Amen.”
  10. Prayer for Lasting Love
    “Lord, if it is Your will, I pray that my child finds a partner who will walk with them in faith, love, and unity. Bless them with a relationship that honors You and brings joy to both of their lives. Amen.”

Sharing these verses and prayers with your children not only offers them guidance but also reminds them they are deeply loved and supported by you and by God.
And there you have it—a toolkit of verses, prayers, and a whole lot of faith to guide your kids (and their relationships) through the wild world of dating. Remember, you’re not just raising good kids; you’re helping shape thoughtful partners, kind humans, and maybe even future in-laws you’ll actually enjoy having at Thanksgiving.
So, pray hard, cheer softly, and keep the clipboard retired—this isn’t an interview, it’s life. 
#ParentingWithGrace #TeamLove #CheeringNotSteering
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Dating Like a Gentleman: 20 Ways to Show Respect, Kindness, and Class

12/10/2024

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The other day, one of my sons asked me, “Hey, when’s your anniversary again?” I told him the date, and he lit up. “That’s the same day my girlfriend and I made it official! Do you think that’s a good sign?” He was so earnest and hopeful, and I couldn’t help but laugh at how sweet it was.
While I love his enthusiasm, it also reminded me how important these early stages of a relationship are—not just for making it “official” but for laying the groundwork for kindness, respect, and good old-fashioned thoughtfulness. So, to help my sons—and any other young men out there who want to treat their dates right—I’ve put together a list of tips for dating like a true gentleman. These aren’t just about making a great impression (though they will); they’re about showing respect and being the kind of person someone would be proud to date.
Here’s the playbook. Let’s dive in.
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Alright, boys, here's the ultimate guide to being thoughtful, kind, and setting yourself up for success in relationships. Trust Momma, if you follow these, you’ll not only make her smile but also feel good about yourself. Let’s go:
  1. Be upfront about the plan. First dates should be simple and mutual. Pick a place together. Surprises are cute later, not now when you don’t know her tastes yet.
  2. Be early. If you’re not five minutes early, you’re late. Being on time shows you respect her and value her time.
  3. Open doors. Every single one—car doors, restaurant doors, all of them. This isn’t about “old-fashioned manners”; it’s about being thoughtful.
  4. Compliment her. Find something you genuinely appreciate—her smile, her outfit, her laugh—and let her know. Authenticity is key.
  5. Dress the part. You don’t need to wear a suit, but look like you put effort into your appearance. It speaks volumes.
  6. Smell good. A little cologne goes a long way. If she notices your scent hours later, you’re doing it right.
  7. No phones. Stay present. Checking your phone says, “I’d rather be somewhere else,” and that’s not the vibe you want.
  8. Lead the conversation. Ask her questions, listen, and respond. Show interest in her thoughts, dreams, and what makes her tick.
  9. Smile and make eye contact. It makes you approachable and shows you’re paying attention.
  10. Make her laugh. Humor is one of the best ways to connect. Don’t try too hard; just be yourself and keep it light.
  11. Order an appetizer. Sharing food breaks the ice. It’s an easy way to feel more relaxed and casual.
  12. Handle sensitive topics with care. If exes come up, keep it short and mature: “That relationship taught me a lot about what I’m looking for.” It’s about showing growth, not airing grievances.
  13. Be honest about your intentions. Whether you’re looking for a relationship or just getting to know someone, be upfront. Kindness is clarity.
  14. Pay for the date. Always. It’s not about money; it’s about being generous and thoughtful.
  15. Be protective, not overbearing. Walk her to her car, open the door, and follow the “street-side rule.” Show her she’s safe with you.
  16. Ask about her world. If she mentions her family, friends, or kids, listen and ask follow-up questions. Being curious about her life shows you’re not self-centered.
  17. Express gratitude. At the end of the night, thank her for spending time with you. Thoughtfulness leaves a lasting impression.
  18. Be kind to everyone. How you treat the server, valet, or anyone else you encounter reflects who you are. Kindness is never optional.
  19. Don’t rush. Respect her boundaries, and don’t pressure her into anything. A great relationship builds on trust and mutual respect.
  20. Follow up with care. Text her when you get home to say you had a great time and would love to see her again. Leave her smiling before she sleeps.
Remember, dating is about connection, not perfection. Treat her the way you’d want someone to treat your sister, and always show the best of yourself.

Getting to Know Her World: Thoughtful Questions That Show You Care

​After sharing the importance of showing genuine interest in someone’s life, you might be wondering how to keep the conversation flowing naturally. This is where thoughtful questions come in. Asking the right questions not only shows you’re listening but also makes her feel valued and understood. So, here are some great conversation starters to help you connect and learn more about her world.
Here are some thoughtful, engaging questions you can ask to show genuine interest in her world:
About Family:
  1. “What’s the best advice you’ve ever gotten from a family member?”
  2. “Do you have any siblings? What’s your favorite memory with them?”
  3. “What kind of traditions did your family have growing up?”
  4. “Who in your family do you think you’re most like?”
  5. “What’s your favorite way to spend time with your family now?”
About Friends:
  1. “Who’s your best friend, and how did you meet?”
  2. “What’s the funniest thing your friends have ever done together?”
  3. “What’s something your friends would say about you if I asked them?”
  4. “Do you and your friends have any fun traditions or hobbies you do together?”
  5. “What’s the best trip or adventure you’ve ever taken with your friends?”
About Kids (if applicable):
  1. “What’s something your kids have done recently that made you laugh?”
  2. “What’s your favorite thing about being a mom?”
  3. “Do your kids have any hobbies or activities they’re really into?”
  4. “What’s something special you and your kids do together?”
  5. “What’s the best parenting advice you’ve ever gotten?”
About Her World in General:
  1. “What’s something you’re really proud of in your life right now?”
  2. “Who inspires you the most, and why?”
  3. “What’s something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t had the chance to yet?”
  4. “If you could have dinner with any three people, alive or not, who would you pick?”
  5. “What’s a little thing in life that brings you the most joy?”
These questions keep the conversation light yet meaningful, showing her that you’re listening and interested in who she truly is.
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Dating is all about connection, respect, and just enough charm to keep her smiling long after the date ends. Follow these tips, and you’ll be on your way to being the kind of guy moms write blog posts about (in a good way).
And remember, boys, if you ever get stuck, just ask yourself: “Would Mom approve?” If the answer is no, it’s probably time to rethink your strategy. Now go out there, smell amazing, and make me proud.
#GentlemanGoals #YouGotThis #MomKnowsBest
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Let’s Talk About Affirmations (Yes, They Actually Work)

9/10/2024

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​We’ve all been there. You text your kid something encouraging like, “You’re amazing!” and in return, you get… crickets. Or maybe just a thumbs up emoji if you’re lucky. But here’s the thing—whether they respond or not, your words matter. Especially when it comes to affirmations.

What’s an Affirmation, Anyway?

​Affirmations are basically positive, confidence-boosting nuggets that help rewire the brain for the better. Think of them like a mental high-five. And trust me, teens and young adults need all the high-fives they can get (even if their current vibe is more like “Ugh, whatever, Mom”).
The science is cool, too. Apparently, when you repeat affirmations, it activates the part of the brain that handles self-worth and motivation (a.k.a., the part we hope they’re using when deciding between studying for that test or binge-watching their 15th episode of whatever). In short: affirmations work, even if they don’t immediately show it.
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So, Why Should You Be Sending These Little Gems to Your Kids?

Let’s be real—teenagers are walking tornadoes of emotions, and young adults are out there trying to figure out how to adult without setting off the smoke alarm every time they make dinner. They’re dealing with grades, friendships, social media pressures, and more.

And here’s where you come in, superhero parent! Sending affirmations is like sneaking little confidence snacks into their day. It’s a small, low-effort (but high-impact) way to remind them, "Hey, you're actually pretty awesome, and you’ve got this!"
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Sure, they might not admit it, but deep down, these affirmations plant little seeds of positivity that they carry with them. Plus, they’re quick to send—so if you’re busy trying to juggle your own day (and maybe your sanity), this is one of those easy parenting wins.

The Science-y Stuff Behind It All (Don’t Worry, It’s Good)

Okay, time to nerd out for a sec. When you give your kid a positive affirmation, their brain’s reward system lights up like a Christmas tree. It’s called the ventromedial prefrontal cortex (I know, fancy, right?), and it’s the part that says, “Hey, maybe I can do this after all!”
​

By consistently hearing or reading these affirmations, your teen starts to actually believe them. Yep, even if they eye-roll in the moment, their brain is still absorbing all that positivity. Over time, this rewiring helps them build confidence, reduce anxiety, and feel more motivated—whether they’re crushing exams, dealing with drama, or just surviving the day.

Why It’s a Genius Parenting Strategy (No Cape Required)

​Here’s the real genius part: sending affirmations gives you a way to stay connected with your kid without being the “nagging parent.” You’re showing up in their life in a positive, subtle way, reminding them that you’re in their corner—without asking too many questions about their homework or social life (because, yeah, that’s a no-go).
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Plus, sending a little text with an affirmation and a quick note of encouragement is like leaving a Post-It on the fridge—but modern. It’s non-intrusive, quick, and—let’s be honest—it’ll probably make their day, even if they don’t tell you. And hey, you’re scoring some major parent points just by caring enough to send it.

Bottom Line: It Matters

We all know that teens and young adults are good at hiding how they’re feeling, but here’s what we do know: they crave support, positivity, and belief in their potential, even if they don’t ask for it. Sending weekly affirmations is like giving them a little pep talk, reminding them they’re capable, resilient, and not doing this whole life thing alone.

So whether they send you a “K, thx” or (fingers crossed) an actual response, keep those affirmations coming. You’re helping shape their mindset, boost their confidence, and build a stronger connection—even if they won’t admit it until, you know, maybe in 10 years at Thanksgiving.
​
You’ve got this, superhero parent. And so does your kid.

Download a Years Worth of Affirmations

Alright, parents, here’s the deal: sending these affirmations to your kids is super easy, and we’ve made it foolproof and FREE (because we know you’ve got enough on your plate). All you’ve gotta do is:

1. Download the overview with all the affirmations and encouragements for the year.
2. Then, grab the 52 ready-to-go images we made on Canva—they’re designed to be text-perfect and look amazing on your kid’s phone screen.

​You’ll have a whole year’s worth of affirmations to send right from your phone with just a few taps. No design skills required, we promise! Just hit download, and you’re ready to spread the love, encouragement, and occasional eye-roll from your teen.
Download Affirmations
Affirmation Overview
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When Others Love Your Kid

5/18/2021

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When I was pregnant with Clayton I read a book that encourage parents to allow others to give their kids nicknames. They said more names, more love. Those nicknames represented connections and relationships that will enhance your child's life experiences. 

Friends, coaches, and others have given Clay some names - Mr. Chisum, C-note, Clay Dogg, and others...

When others show favor to your kids, it gets your attention. It makes you proud.

Clay got his first graduation gift. It was from neighbors we had not even sent an announcement to. They just loved my kid.

I appreciated that so much. I was overwhelmed. It hit me big.
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Teenager Test Scores

1/28/2020

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When I lost 100 pounds I decided that I wanted to go get my lab work done to compare. I knew that they would be different than the labs I had draw in 2018. They just had to be. What I didn't anticipate was how drastically different EVERYTHING would be.
All my numbers were lower, better, and improved. I was stunned. When my sweet friend and PA went line by line through the comparison report, I just cried. She said they were link teenager scores. She never gets to tell people their labs are perfect, but I sure loved it when she told me! 


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​It's incredible to see how what you fuel yourself with really changes everything. There are things that you know like, "Eat less. Move more." Easier said than done, but when you SEE the results, it's astounding. 

​Sure I wanted to loose weight, but being healthy - there's nothing better!
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You better believe that I hung that sucker up on our refrigerator! 
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Warning: Life Ahead

8/13/2016

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With my friends, especially those that I travel with for work, I tell them, "If You See Something, Say Something!" That isn't just an airport slogan. I mean, if I have lipstick on my teeth, my jacket looks better unbuttoned.. whatever it might be, tell me. For the love of Pete, tell me. You know you've seen people and you think, "poor thing doesn't have a clue..."

Years ago, I was on a date on Valentine's Day at a restaurant near a college campus. A girl at a table next to us had us saying that very thing. Her boyfriend handed her a gift bag and she pulled out a Playboy Bunny t-shirt. Who does that? What an awful, disrespectful gift. She was loud and a little tipsy, showing  her "gift" to us and the other tables around us. Then the guys she was with started burning the bottom the wine cork and wiping the soot on her nose, but when she did it, nothing was on their noses. She had no idea they were laughing at her. They were snorting, they were laughing so hard.

When the guys went to play darts, we called her over to our table, helped her wipe off her nose, and explained what we saw. We could have chuckled, rolled our eyes, and ignored it. Calling her over was the right thing to do. We don't know what became of her, if she listed to our advice, or if she kept seeing Hugh Heffner. 

Sometimes life gives us warnings. 

Life is sketchy at times. We need friends and sometimes strangers to give us advice, point out what is sometime obvious to others, and to help us avoid lipstick on the teeth and Hugh Heffner. 

Sometimes you see something and say then say something. Sometimes you have to stand back and watch.
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    Really, I never thought that I'd say, "... table for 6, please." going to dinner with my family. I had plans to be a professor and travel the world. I moved from Missouri to West Texas for graduate school and was just passing through, when I met a man that captivated my heart and held my hand.

    Both teachers at the time, we met before Spring Break, got engaged the day after school was out and got married over Thanksgiving Break. And we shared our wedding cake top with the Labor and Delivery nurses in the hospitial when our oldest child was born. Our courtship was quick and it was exciting. And I don't think that we'd trade any of it for what we thought it might be.

    This magical adventure is more amazing than anything that I had planned.

    ​See my BlogSpot

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